Reading an article by Dan Jenkins on the Golf Digest website today annoyed me enough to want to write this blog. An old timer complaining about the problems he has bending over to mark his ball, not being able to put on his golf shoes and grippes about “today’s modern, magical, nuclear-advanced equipment” as if this makes golf easier to play than when he was a young man!
If you’re too old to put your shoes on and bend over to pick up your play, then you’re too old to play golf! Do everyone a favour, stop harping back to the good old days when everyone used hickory sticks and looked like upper class twits and stay in doors and watch reruns of Star Trek - the original series.
I’ve been caught behind several four balls who have alot in common with this guy; and though part of my enjoyment of the game is the fresh air and exercise, I also want those in front of me to move on briskly, not to stop at every bush for a piss and chat about the war when they should be clearing the greens!
Will anyone sign my petition to ban old people from golf courses?
1 comment so far
1 Londongolfer // Nov 6, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Seems a bit unfair to me. I don’t know that you can just go round banning the elderly for failing to bend, pissing on every bush and yakking on about the War.
I love pissing on bushes. Admittely I make some distinction between fluffy and thorny varieties, but I’m not generally folialogically fussy. I get off on the danger. Never mind the thorns and spread the nitrites baby. And, if you’ve got a lot of piss, why keep it to yourself? Unless of course, you have a catheter.
Chatting about the war is also a hobby of mine. If I’m not dressing up and recreating battles, I’m mostly to be found arguing about pincer movements and the improvement of dolphins with atomic missiles. Where would be without the war?
Germany, that’s where.
How else but by chatting about war are we to remind ourselves not to invade Poland? They’re always provoking someone. And the sooner we forget, the sooner our politicians will think it’s OK to go invading, willy nilly. Just look at that Tony Blair fella, merest hint of a strop and an oily beard and he’s off.
Hunting for muslims of mass destruction.
I just can’t ban the elderly from golf. Think about it. What about the knitware? If the elderly don’t go outside in inappropriate weather conditions, who will wear all those jumpers? And where will all that lightening go? It has to strike somewhere.
If we ban the oldies, we’ll have to contend with millions of hot sheep getting electrocuted every five minutes.
No, I can’t do it. Leave them OAPS alone!