This remarkable claim that the new style driver golf clubs which have become a very popular piece of golf equipment for both amateurs and golf professionals alike, was made by a team of authors including Dr Malcolm Buchanan, an Edinburgh ear, nose and throat specialist and keen golfer.

It follows the case of a 55 year-old golfer whose hearing has been damaged, experts believe, by continual use of a titanium driver three times a week over a period of 18 months.

The Dail Mail reports “doctors at Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital conducted tests after the 55-year-old golfer attended their clinic with unexplained tinnitus and reduced hearing in his right ear.”

The man had not suffered from any previous hearing problems.

The golfer in question suggested hitting a ball from the tee sounded like a gun shot and he has since discarded the club.

For research purposes a professional golfer was employed to hit shots with six titanium golf clubs from manufacturers including Callaway, Ping, Nike, Mizuno and King Cobra.  All produced much louder sounds than the stainless steel headed golf drivers that were also tested.

The loudest titanium club to be tested was the Ping G10.

Dr Buchanan has recommended the wearing of ear plugs when playing golf with these loud golf clubs. But the Daily Mail quotes Andrew Coltart, a professional golfer, as saying ‘If you are wearing earplugs you might not hear shouts of “fore”, be hit by a ball on the head and get brain damage.’

It won’t be long before someone buys you expensive earplugs adorning Callaway or Nike as a Christmas present!

A golfer has to combine the power of a powerful cricket batsman with the accuracy of a snooker player and the skill of a darts player, all at once.

There are so many things to consider when hitting a golf ball, the distance, elevation, the wind speed and direction; and then the control needed to gently chip the ball onto the green from twenty feet or to power drive a ball 300 yards.

He continues: “A golf ball weighs as much as an ordinary chicken egg and wind speeds of 20 kmph, which is just a strong breeze, can change the distance and direction the ball travels by some 30 yards!”

The average 30-year-old pro on the circuit will have spent an average of 15 years working on his game for around 8 hours per day.

With this in mind I remember watching Tiger Woods at Canoustie in the US Open this year. On several occassions he teed off only to find the rough and not the fairway. Now, what chance have I got to even enjoy the game when I start at 43 years old and can only make time to play once or twice a week!

If you’re too old to put your shoes on and bend over to pick up your play, then you’re too old to play golf! Do everyone a favour, stop harping back to the good old days when everyone used hickory sticks and looked like upper class twits and stay in doors and watch reruns of Star Trek – the original series.

I’ve been caught behind several four balls who have alot in common with this guy; and though part of my enjoyment of the game is the fresh air and exercise, I also want those in front of me to move on briskly, not to stop at every bush for a piss and chat about the war when they should be clearing the greens!

Will anyone sign my petition to ban old people from golf courses?